mad-and

My memories from 10 years are pretty crystal clear. I remember some days like I remember last week. What sticks with me from that year was this sense of hope that I had. Hope for better times. Perhaps I could finally feel happy by seeing the girl that I've been talking to online. Perhaps school could become better and I'd feel more at ease with everything in my life. What was my life back then, anyways? It was rather mundane. I'd wake up, go to school and then I'd come home and stay online with her and then maybe do some homework, watch a movie, and then going to sleep. Daydreaming, listening to music, arguing with mom, stressing out abou

'What the fuck are you doing?' I closed her profile on Facebook. It's insane. Why would I ask her if she went to see La La Land? Why would I do that? Do I simply need her attention? t's nuts, I don't love her, I haven't seen her in 3 years now. And it's been 5 years since we've been together. She's far away, happy with some other guy. Why the fuck do I care if she saw La La Land or not? It's funny how the mind works. It tends to erase all the negativity and you end up feeling melancholic about certain people in your life. You romanticize certain years or events. You forget that you weren't right together but at the same time, whatever h

It has been a very interesting year that will provide much fascination down the line. It's been a year of a lot of mistakes and lessons learned. I look at myself from a year ago and once again I see a naive person which is good, I guess. It means that I bettered myself in some shape or form. I don't feel inspired anymore these days. It eludes me, it's never there when I need it. And I do need it, more than ever. I was looking at a photo of you from some time ago... you were sitting on my bed, smiling and taking a selfie. You look so beautiful in that photograph. It pains me to look at it but I'm glad you sent it, that I have it. It makes the