My memories from 10 years are pretty crystal clear. I remember some days like I remember last week.
What sticks with me from that year was this sense of hope that I had. Hope for better times. Perhaps I could finally feel happy by seeing the girl that I've been talking to online. Perhaps school could become better and I'd feel more at ease with everything in my life.
What was my life back then, anyways?
It was rather mundane. I'd wake up, go to school and then I'd come home and stay online with her and then maybe do some homework, watch a movie, and then going to sleep.
Daydreaming, listening to music, arguing with mom, stressing out about school.
Writing on that RHCP forum I ran. Waiting for new albums from Bon Jovi, Velvet Revolver and The Smashing Pumpkins.
I was skinny, I had very bad acne, I had zero self-confidence, I was deeply in love and infatuated, I had no money.
But life felt good in a way.
I remember one Friday during that February when together with an ex-classmate we went to the train station to look up the times for various trains that could take me closer to her. I remember this being so difficult to achieve, like she was living on the Moon or something.
It seems rather absurd now, of course. But it was the reality back then due to the fact that I had no money and I still lived with mom and dad and they practically had a say in everything.
She wasn't nice to me that night -- a behavior that forebode later cruelty but I forgot easily back then.
And then I remember this most beautiful Saturday when I woke up early to go help dad do some work.
And I remember cleaning my room and looking out the window as the sun reappeared after months of winter.
And it was a glorious day and I felt happy like finally my time has come.
Bon Jovi released their new single that day if I remember correctly.
And it was a good song, now the type of shit that they'd release years later.
It was a good day. I had a moment of clarity that obviously stayed with me long after.
My birthday was fats approaching and I was finally turning 16. I somehow felt old, mostly because I still hadn't kissed a girl.
But that would soon change and I wanted to make it happen.
I asked dad if I could go see her. I said I didn't need anything for my birthday if he'd allow me to go see her.
He said no, of course. And I can't blame him.
But by April the 'no' became 'maybe' and then I took a train and off I was to see this girl I've been talking to.
To kiss her and feel truly happy for the first time in my life.
A glorious year this 2007.